A letter to Mama...
13122004
Dear Mama,
The moment I walked into the Oncology ward and saw you.You gave me the biggest shock in my life.I would never imagine seeing you this way and obviously not in this place.A sms from MY sis in the morning hour was really a distress.Is so heartrending to know that there is nothing the doctor can do about it other then feeding you with morphin to ease your pain.I hope you could leave earlier then being in the bed like now, suffering the pain from this condition.Cherish your days with your family and loved ones.Hope in your coming life, you will lead a better one.Love you always; Jenny...
Mama (no,is not my mum.she is my pet sis's mum) was diagnosed with liver cancer on October and now she's leaving.She's only in her fifthies.Seeing her in the Oncology hit me hard! and i meant "REAL HARD"..you live, you grow old and you die, that is the nature process.But now is - you live, you grow, you had disease, you die! Am started to learn that dearest leave now and then.The very moment in the ward, I promise myself am gonna quit smoking for good.And this time around am not gonna pick it back as what happen before.Why?? Cause am afraid??No,Don't get me wrong am not afraid to die.Dying is just a process that everyone have to go through and is just a matter of time.All I want is just to spend more time with people i love and care about.If lying in the bed; is me, people that surround it;is my loved ones and family, i will know exactly how they felt and i would not want them to go through that.
But why only smoking? What about alcohol consumption? Other unhealthy stuff? My answer; I don't know. Out of the sudden it just hit me hard that i have to quit smoking and enjoy my life with some others things.Life is always beautiful aint it.
Am working all alone today in the office as my coll took a day leave.Been freaking busy the moment i step into the office till now,this very moment,but find myself clicking to this blog of mine to update since it have been dead for a few days.I will try my best to update more often..
** A sincered belated birthday wish to AD,a very happy belated birthday to you.May you have a wonderful and bless life ahead of you**
squiggle by elljay at 12/13/2004 02:54:00 PM
8 Comments:
well, i guess as we get OLDER we tend to be more careful with the things we do right? we can't be a naive 18 year-old self-centered asshole forever.
haha..self-centered?? i never was one..never will be one..
but i do agree as u grow OLDER..priority changes...
TZR: pls accept my condolences...yday i was seeing you and today u're hit by a bad news like this.sorry. well, 'Sang, Lou, Beng, Sei' is the path that we have to go through. well, leaving this place by having disease is i think, more peaceful than mati katak.get what i mean? hope u r alright...
*Come As An Individual, Leave As An Individual* well, not so individual cos she will be missed in the hearts.
Thanks for the condolence Ah Sai...that is why i took half day leave.It was difficult putting up a smile the entire day..the only moment to let everything down is when am alone ..when i keep myself quiet..more over it have been really a rough year to go through
But i do understand what you mean..so cherish the day you have and life your life like there is no tomorrow.. =)
TZR: ooooh..no wonder u were quite quiet that day..*hugzzz* evrything will be cool after a while new year is coming soon! so let's hope we can reborn!
*huggies*..am looking forward to a brand new year and a brand new me =) and a brand new life... *grin*
TZR: and u're certainly getting a new job ;)
haha..hope so...wish i could leave early...arghhhhh!~~
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