Best Wishes...

28092004

Dear,

I tought this letter writting thing going to be easy but I guess it's not always that way.I have so many feeling to express that I have no idea where to begin.I never expected to feel this way towards you and to be honest I tried not to fall in love with you.But it got me,it sure got me good! I read a quote somewhere once that said "It's not missing you that kills me,is knowing that I had you in my life does".That is so absolutely true.But what's really bothering me is that I can't tell you how i feel.

As time goes on and we're apart,I think of how things could have been.What we could have said or done to work things through.Our argument was caused from so many things."My insecurities because of jealousy, my lack of self-worth, the selfish side of me that want to be the only one to make you smile!"

I have been thinking of myself a lot lately over what went wrong and what makes me feel terribly awful.I have accept that lies and falsehood won't lead me anywhere, but I guess I was just really head over heals falling for you! I might have done or said many silly things.I really went through a lot to prove a point, because lately I have noticed that you seem to turn cold whenever we chat.I am not sure, but I hope that my feeling is wrong.I should have been giving some reasons for what i felt.Perhaps you've been busy these few days or have a lot of pressure? I'm just not really use to it.

All the arguments and everything seems as if it's happening because time run by us and we don't have much time with each other, and I know that these misunderstanding don't mean anything more than just arguing at that very moment.With all this,you seem to think I don't love you anymore and i know i haven't been showing it to you either.

I know that I'm not perfect but i know that i don't want to give you up! I have arguing with you, I hate hearing that pain-filled tone of your voice, or feeling your cold shoulder when i brush past just to get a hint of your scent.I'm not naturally an angry person; you know that from the time you first meet me.

Now here we are, together again, but it doesn't feel that same.I know you still care for me, and even love me, but i wonder if you are ever going to forgive me for the past.How do we get past the hurt? I look back on all that I took for granted, and I only wish that I had appreciated it. I will always have my shooting stars to remind me.Do you know what my wish was? I wished that i would never be stupid enough to let you go!

I sit in my car after our conversation today, upset that I didn't express to you how i felt.i want you to know that i never meant to hurt you, even though it may seem that way sometimes.I thought of you many times during night, really wishing you were by my side...

How you felt after reading the letter? My brother showed me the letter when I came home from work today.Weird though, he don't seems to like writing letter all this while.Wonder where the letter came from..Do you think this guy worth a second chance? hmm..I wonder..

Anyway, today will be the last day i had my breakfast with Derrick at work, my last lunch with him at work, the last car pool ride to work.All of this; is his last day at work today! Bad news, I will miss his presence in work, no one to laugh crazyly with me at work, to crap all day long with me,to teach me for my photoshop,ilustrator and dreamweaver work when i needed one, to share my plate of "Siew Mai", enjoying the nice music in office..Good news, he will be doing what he wanted to do most - going back to college to continue his degree, lead the life he wanted too.Am happy for you Ah Sai. All the best to you in whatever you do in future~~..

Seems like i will have to be extra careful in going back now.Will be walking alone to get my car...careful..careful..

By the way, Happy Mid Autumn Festival to everyone.Hope you did enjoy the moon with your piece of mooncake and a cup of tea together with the people you love..