Life is beautifuL

For The Year of 2007

2007-01-15T21:05:00.000+08:00

So many feelings.So many thoughts in her mind.She wish she can speak it all out.But words can't describe what she feel inside.How she feel inside.

Guess you will never know how she feel.She wanted you to know that, nothing else is important to her but you.What you think,what you do.She wants to be part of your world.She knows sometime she lost it all,but to her all is because you are important.But is all this right?Has she been on the wrong side? You never let her know.Sometimes she really don't know what to do..

You appeared in her life and tell her that there are still people who loves her in this world.Life is so much more to celebrate.

But life hasn't been always good.What is good will have to come to an end and reality will have to sink in.

What is life? if only you are here with me...

Long Long Break....

2006-06-12T17:55:00.000+08:00

120606

This is a very first post after a extremely long break.It has been a good few months break.There are ups and downs for her.Going overseas for attachment bring new meaning to her life.A bigger picture as who is inportant in her life as well as what are her priorities.There are nights where she constantly cried herself to sleep.Coming back home was the sweetest memories and being able to be with her family and loved ones.Knowing that the moment she opened her eyes there will be someone to greet her with kisses and hugs.All this warm feeling is just priceless....

I MISS YOU

Startling : Annual Dinner...

2005-10-04T01:55:00.000+08:00

I don't know, but I believe
That some things are meant to be
And that you'll make a better me
Everyday I love you
I never thought that dreams came true
But you showed me that they do
You know that I learn somethng new
Everyday I love you
'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul.
It's a touch when I feel bad
It's a smile when I get mad
All the little things I am
Everyday I love you
Everyday I love you boy
Everyday I love you
'Cos I believe that destiny
Is out of our control (don't you know that I do)
And you'll never live until you love
With all your heart and soul
If I asked would you say yes?
Together we're the very best
I know that I am truly blessed
Everyday I love you
And I'll give you my best
Everyday I love you

The song was playing in the background.."May I" he said.She was so shocked.Just when she thought how lovely to be able to dance to the music and someone actually asked for her hand."You sure you wanna dance with me?" she asked, with a lovely smile he replied "Yes" and took her hand.They dance at the center of the grand hall with the lovely music and thousand pair of eyes looking at them."I saw both of you dancing.You both look so stunning-he looks so smart and you are so gorgeous that night" her friend said to her.Thank you for the compliment.Everyone look stunning that night and that dance, is something to remember always.....

Sunday...

2005-09-25T13:06:00.000+08:00

Some said time is a healer. How true is this statement? She still comes across it difficult some time. Though she try her very best to occupied herself with all sort of activities. But nothing can replace the good and quality time she once had. There are times the small thing behind her head just start ticking and remind her of everything. All she had on her face is just sweet smile. Things had changed that is for sure. Walking ahead is what now she will be thinking of, though there will be tough time she knew the fruit that she get to harvest in the end is worth all the difficult time she will have to bear. Weekend especially will be lonely, but the quality time she get to spend with her family heal the loneliest wound in her heart, though deep inside she wish it will be prefect, able to keep both by her side. But she knew is impossible. Yet she is thankful for all the blessing from above. She believe everything happen for a cause, the future is what she is looking forward to..

PAWS ; ChariTy

2005-09-02T12:12:00.000+08:00

There will be a Charity Car Wash for PAWS (Paws Animal Welfare Society) .Please do come and give support..

Details....
Venue: A&W P.J Drive-In (near Amcorp Mall)
Time: 10.00 am - 6.00pm
Date 3rd September 2005 (Saturday)

Event Highlights
*Face Painting *Rootbeer Drinking Competition
*Coloring Competition *Burger Eating Competition
and many more

Reflect...

2005-08-29T20:57:00.000+08:00

Gimme a reason
Why I'm feeling so blue
Everytime I close my eyes, all I see is you
Gimme a reason
Why I can't feel my heart
Everytime you leave my side, I just fall apart
And when you're fast asleep, I wonder where you go
Can you tell me, I wanna know

Because I miss you
And this is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you,
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong

Gimme a reason
Why I can't concentrate
The world is turning upside down
Spinning round and round
Gimme a reason
Why I now understand
The beauty and simplicity of everything surrounding me

Anywhere I go, I know you're always there
It sounds ridiculous, but when you leave a room
There's a part of me that just wants to follow you too

Because I miss you
And this is all I wanna say
I guess I miss you,
These three words have said it all
You know I miss you
I think about you when you're gone
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong

It's such a hard life in most of the time
I'm just surviving
That's why I want you to know
In the world where sincerity has lost its meaning
You fill my world with so much hope
And I miss you
This is all I wanna say
three words have said it all
You know I miss you

I know it doesn't sound too cool
But maybe I'm in love with you
You know I miss you
And this all I wanna say
I guess I miss you, nothing's wrong

I miss you,
And when you're walking out that door
I know I miss you
You make me wanna ask for more
I just miss you
It's trueI miss you,

by;DH

A song that reflect her thoughts in the mid of driving..

Something MIssIng...

2005-07-05T07:33:00.000+08:00

She woke up in the morning lying on the same bed, starring at the same blue clock,hugging the same pillow,glances of the same standing lamp..but somehow something just aint right,she felt empty...quite and lonely.Not the typical sentiment she had lying in this bed. Then she role to her right side hoping for something else and when she open her eyes and she realised she is all alone in the room...
All alone....
Tears rolled down....
Everything is the same physically..but deep inside her something is missing.....
It will remained close to heart..
She will be waiting.....

She has Lost it...

2005-06-02T03:42:00.000+08:00

She has to admit.She has lost it.All this while she thought it will be fine,it will be easy to handle.She knows it will be coming,is just the matter of time..But when the time comes..
is not easy for her....
is just too difficult..
She will be counting the days.....

Lost

2005-05-03T13:00:00.000+08:00

Siiting in front of the computer,she is lost.Lost in her thought.She does not know what to type though there is so many things playing in her little mind.

She is scare...

She is worried...

She is lost....

Faith..

2005-04-13T12:52:00.000+08:00

Tired.She's tired.Tired of Faith? Perhaps.Is just a switch that been clicked on and suddenly she felt she lost the faith.She's confused.She's agitated.The lies.The rumours.The actions.Confused.So confused.

She will still count those blessing.She will still have faith in herself.She will still take the course she need to saunter.

Peace of Mind....

2005-04-12T12:40:00.000+08:00

Thanks a lot to my Ah sai...At last,I get a monitor for my baby..but the worst?? Long story short..is equal to can't be used.Very helpful of Ted to fixed it for me..but then not telling me the problem..thanks dear =) But am glad that finally am able to be part of the internet again..

If I Knew..

2005-03-17T11:49:00.000+08:00

If I knew it would be the last time
That I'd see you fall asleep,
I would tuck you in more tightly
and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.

If I knew it would be the last time
that I see you walk out the door,
I would give you a hug and kiss
and call you back for one more.

If I knew it would be the last time
I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise,
I would video tape each action and word,
so I could play them back day after day.

If I knew it would be the last time,
I could spare an extra minute
to stop and say "I love you,"
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.

If I knew it would be the last time
I would be there to share your day,
Well I'm sure you'll have so many more,
so I can let just this one slip away

For surely there's always tomorrow
to make up for an oversight,
and we always get a second chance
to make everything just right.

There will always be another day
to say "I love you,"
And certainly there's another chance
to say our "Anything I can do?"

But just in case I might be wrong,
and today is all I get,
I'd like to say how much I love you
and I hope we never forget.

Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,
young or old alike,
And today may be the last chance
you get to hold your loved one tight.

So if you're waiting for tomorrow,
why not do it today?
For if tomorrow never comes,
you'll surely regret the day,

That you didn't take that extra time
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss
and you were too busy to grant someone,
what turned out to be their one last wish.

So hold your loved ones close today,
and whisper in their ear,
Tell them how much you love them
and that you'll always hold them dear

Take time to say "I'm sorry,"
"Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay."
And if tomorrow never comes,
you'll have no regrets about today.

Thank You..

2005-03-15T01:51:00.000+08:00

Yes, is 15 today.It has been a year since my return from the marvelous trip of Redang. One Point; It has been a year now i have been together with my Sweetheart, Ted. Happy Anniversary to you. it has been a great one year, though there have been some ups and downs.But which relationship don't have right.Am trully bless to have you in my life...

Thank you for all the TLC you have showered me with...
Thank you for being there all the time when i needed you too...
Thank you for being a great companion....
Thank you for being a great friend...
Of cause Thank you for loving me for who i am..
THANK YOU absolutely everything.You have been amazing and I Love You...

Such a Loooooong Time Since...

2005-03-13T13:49:00.000+08:00

Phew...it has been such a long break since my last update.My comp at home has turn its back on me.Need to get a entire new Comp..darn..When you are out of money..everything need a change.Anyway, work was alright.Trying to get used to the working hour. After all is not that bad..kinda enjoy it and the only flipside was won;t be able to spend much time with loved ones and my friends as i used to..the only time am looking forward to meet them is on the weekend.I miss all of them so so much.

A Brand New Experience...

2005-02-16T18:27:00.000+08:00

Sorry for my laziness..as recently been pretty busy and by the end of the day, am pretty tired and lazy to update my blog.Started my new job on Monday.The new job was alright, I was offered a job with HDPM ; which is a member of the HSBC group.So officially am a HSBC staff now.The coming 3 weeks will be my induction week and the follow by process training.Just the third day through my induction, i have come to realise that some people really do have attitude problem.But then again, who am i to judge them.Some little info on my job.Is at Cyberjaya and is a 5 days week job. the pay is kinda okie to me. At least is better than my previous job.Colleagues there? all i could say was, weird maybe.I dunno, I have yet to get to know them that well.Will come back again about it when the induction weeks is done.

Got my job description today and i have been assign to the back door processing on mortgage.my working hours? is from 1500 to 0200, as am assign to UK. So is gonna be adios amigo to my weekdays night life.welcome the horror working hours.will see how i morphe into that hours..Lolz!~ So, at this current moment all this is occupying my life. Happy?? am not able to provide the answer yet.......

Just A figure...

2005-02-04T09:59:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday to my dearest SweetHeart,Ted. Hope You will enjoy the day...and may you be bless in every aspect of life..

Lots of Love & Hugs...,
Lj

Last Day..

2005-01-28T13:49:00.000+08:00

How happy could I be..Today is my last day at work..hahaha..I have
cleared all my stuff and documents.The only thing left to do is to
brief my colleague on my tasks so that the new staff will know what to
do..or worst..I might be needed for a few days to teach her
around...Yikes~!..The worst part to come; I HAVEN'T GET MY PAYCHECK
YET!!! now is 13:46 while am happily blogging in the office.Lets pray
that I will be able to get my paycheck before 15:00 today..Darn~!!...how could they do this to me!!

My..my... am gonna miss much of the nescafe tarik,roti bakar, roti
canai that accompany me for my 8 months here as my breakfast...*sob* *sob*

Days Left: 0 (muahahahhaha.....)

The Truth is not the Truth ; Fake...

2005-01-25T11:54:00.000+08:00

What is when the truth you been told is not the truth and you somehow felt that does it really important for you to know the truth and somehow you asked yourself where does sincerity and honesty stand nowadays and does it still exist in every humble human being. Does it make what seems real suddenly seems fake and why do 'Fake-ness' exist in this world? Was it,so that human being could shield what they are a shame of or somehow to make themself feel better? Would you buy the story that you have been told or you will somehow insist for the veracity? does it really matter in one life to know the truth? Tell me about it...if is meant for you to know you will or else ,there are things better to be left unknown....

Days Left: 3

Little Things..

2005-01-23T01:12:00.000+08:00

After living together for 22 years.This is the first time..my very first time to felt it.To be honest..it feels different..

Days Left : 5

Mess Up..

2005-01-19T15:27:00.000+08:00

Totally mess up.Thoughts running around in this "friggin-****(fill in the blank yourself)-up-mind" of mine.Have you ever been in a situation where there are things which is best to be left unknown but somehow you have come to know it and deep down inside you wish that in the first place,you never have come across about it so that you will not be in a situation where you are now and the only thing you wish to do now is to forget about it but you can't and you somehow wanted to find out the truth about it? Yeah..totally mess up...

Days left : 7

Sleep...

2005-01-17T13:32:00.000+08:00

I slept on the floor last night instead of my cozy and comfortable bed.I woke up this morning with a stiff neck and painful arm together with a pair of sleepy eyes....

Happy birthday to a lovely sis of mine,Magg.Hope you had a wonderfulday of coz.Stay bubbly and pretty and sexy always *wink* ...

Days left: 9

Illusion.....

2005-01-14T10:26:00.000+08:00

Once the star that seems to be so bright is getting dimmer.Was it my illusion or was it that the star has lost it brightness.I hope it was my illusion....

Days left : 11

Counting & Counting....

2005-01-10T14:01:00.000+08:00

Am counting and counting the remaining days for me to move my ass from office.Yup..this will be the last month.After this month am officially jobless.anyone out there wanna hire me?? went for an interview yesterday, but still have to wait for them to call me up *sigh* hate this part.Why can't they just let you know if you manage to get the job? it will be good the know on the spot.At least I won't be anticipating for them to call me for the second interview..*argh..*..

Other than counting the days to leave office, am counting the days when i will be able to see Eric again.Can't wait for you to be back, cause we have lots of things to eat up (i mean other than catch up *grin*).. I bet you are counting the days too right? haha..yeah yeah..i remember, we gonna go and eat the noodle at pandan indah first.oh ya, but you have to remember to bring back what i want from aussie ya mate!~ keke...

A month more to Chinese New Year : additional information for bloggers,those who are born in the year of Boar, sorry to say - 2005 is a very bad year. Be extra careful in what ever things you do.I mean if you do believe in 'feng shui', if you don't, good for you mate!~ As for me, every year is a good year, it depends how you make it turn out to be.

Days left : 15

Black & White...

2005-01-05T14:14:00.000+08:00

05012004

everything-is-black-and-white-today-cause-my-eyes-are-painful-and-it-feels-like-they-gonna-pop-out-from-their-socket.Stupid-headache!

2005 - New Beginning

2005-01-01T17:03:00.000+08:00

01012005

"When tears are pouring,
When cries of why are roaring,
When expression of sympathy can only
lessen a bit of the burden of the lonely,
there is a lesson to every woman and man,
to care when you can."

-Morten Lundal-
The Star Jan 1,2005

Wishing everyone out there a Happy and Peaceful year - 2005

Specially dedicated to Ann,Happy Birthday to you.May this year be a successful year to you in every espects of life.Enjoy your day!

Malaysia Hit by Tidal Waves...

2004-12-27T13:47:00.000+08:00

27122004

Saw the news this morning "Waves of Death" - The Star ; never come across my mind that it will happen in Malaysia.One must wonder why our very peaceful country will be hit by such disaster since the earthquake happen in Sumatra.It was the tidal waves that killed so many in Malaysia. What cause the tidal waves to reach the shore of Malaysia? In every earthquake that happens, not all is capable of producing tidal waves. Only those that is over 7.7 on the Ritcher scale is capable to do so.And for the one that happen is Sumatra, is 9.02 on the Ricther scale. That is why the tidal waves causes such a huge impact. This earthquake is consider as the fifth largest earthquake since 1900 and the largest since 1964.

How you can help ?
Donations can be made to help the quake victims by :
1. Cheques can be made out to the Malaysian Red Cresent Society (MRCS) and marked Tidal Waves Victims at the back of the cheques to be forwarded to the National Press Club (NPC) or to any of the MRCS offices.
Inquiries can be directed to 03-4257 8122.

2. Mercy is appealing for public support in the form of cash and cheques for further deployment to affected areas (Indonesia). Cheque contributions can be made out to Mercy Humanitarian Fund, with “South-East Asia
Earthquake Appeal” written on the back of the cheques. Donations can be deposited directly to Mercy Malaysia Maybank Account No: 5621 7950 4126. All donations are tax exempted.

Do check out newspaper or broadcast news for more info and updates on the tragedy.

My condolences goes to all the family that was hit by this tragedy.
Fong Shang, if you are reading this, please sms me or give me a call to let me know you are alright.I have been trying to contact you since morning.

My Only....

2004-12-26T13:06:00.000+08:00

26122004

14 years back, am the most happy sister in the world cause I was blessed with a younger brother whom is so cute and adorable. No one can resist the chubby and rosy cheek of his.

This is a picture of him when he was younger.

And today, is his 14th birthday.Wishing you a very wonderful birthday and may you be bless in every single thing that you do.Though there are times when you really make me heart ache..but i guess the good and happy times had shadow all the bad ones.

Happy Birthday Andrew!!

And this is the ever grown up picture of him..

Hope you have a wonderful day...

With love,
Your sister

When You're Gone...

2004-12-21T18:04:00.000+08:00

21122004

Hold on to love, This is what I do
Now That I've found you
And from above,everything's stinking
When they're not around you
And in the night, I could be helpless
I could be lonely, sleeping without you
And in the day, everything is complex
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you
I miss you when you're gone
This is what I do
And it's going to carry on
That is what I knew

Hold on to my hands
I feel I'm sinking, sinking without you
And to my mind everything's stinking
Stinking without you
And in the night, I could be helpless
I could be lonely, sleeping without you
And in the day, everything is complex
There's nothing simple, when I'm not around you
And I miss you when you're gone
This is what I do
And it's going to carry on
That is what I knew

-=Cranberries=-

Rough Year ...

2004-12-14T23:17:00.000+08:00

14122004

Pay you my last respect.But i just don't know why,did not dare to see you for the last time.Of all the funerals I attended,you are the only one that i did not dare to look at, lying motionless in your casket.I guess is what that hit me hard in the Oncology ward that makes me have this fear.But somehow, am glad that you finally move.Is for the better sometimes.Yeah,sometimes..

I will be here again tonight for the final time.To see you for the one last time.Mom and the three of us will miss you dearly.....

It has been a rough year, attended 3 funerals in 4 months time.

Long GoodBye...

2004-12-14T14:00:00.000+08:00

14122004

12:12 pm

Mama just passed away today...

A letter to Mama...

2004-12-13T14:54:00.000+08:00

13122004

Dear Mama,

The moment I walked into the Oncology ward and saw you.You gave me the biggest shock in my life.I would never imagine seeing you this way and obviously not in this place.A sms from MY sis in the morning hour was really a distress.Is so heartrending to know that there is nothing the doctor can do about it other then feeding you with morphin to ease your pain.I hope you could leave earlier then being in the bed like now, suffering the pain from this condition.Cherish your days with your family and loved ones.Hope in your coming life, you will lead a better one.Love you always; Jenny...

Mama (no,is not my mum.she is my pet sis's mum) was diagnosed with liver cancer on October and now she's leaving.She's only in her fifthies.Seeing her in the Oncology hit me hard! and i meant "REAL HARD"..you live, you grow old and you die, that is the nature process.But now is - you live, you grow, you had disease, you die! Am started to learn that dearest leave now and then.The very moment in the ward, I promise myself am gonna quit smoking for good.And this time around am not gonna pick it back as what happen before.Why?? Cause am afraid??No,Don't get me wrong am not afraid to die.Dying is just a process that everyone have to go through and is just a matter of time.All I want is just to spend more time with people i love and care about.If lying in the bed; is me, people that surround it;is my loved ones and family, i will know exactly how they felt and i would not want them to go through that.

But why only smoking? What about alcohol consumption? Other unhealthy stuff? My answer; I don't know. Out of the sudden it just hit me hard that i have to quit smoking and enjoy my life with some others things.Life is always beautiful aint it.

Am working all alone today in the office as my coll took a day leave.Been freaking busy the moment i step into the office till now,this very moment,but find myself clicking to this blog of mine to update since it have been dead for a few days.I will try my best to update more often..

** A sincered belated birthday wish to AD,a very happy belated birthday to you.May you have a wonderful and bless life ahead of you**

Am in Love...

2004-12-09T13:11:00.000+08:00

09122004

Yup, am in love..so in love..with my new collections of mp3s in the office.Thanks a million to Paul, who pass me all the songs.Those songs mostly all are my favourite, though most of it are old songs, but what-the-heck..cause i love them.Need to burn it all out..all of my mp3s before am leaving the office....

All the best to Yeeng for the final paper..enjoy your holiday after that...*huggies*

Arrgghh..Xmas Xmas is here!!!!

2004-12-06T15:53:00.000+08:00

06122004

Arghh....Xmas is just around the corner and am stuck here with no plan..the earlier plan had been cancel due to certain circumstances.*sigh* am sad sad sad!!!!!!!!!
i desperately need a holiday.

A Good Cause...

2004-12-02T13:45:00.000+08:00

02122004

Step 1. Grab your cell phone

Step 2. Type the msg HHH
Step 3. Send to 32111

You will be donating MYR 1 to charity..

Is only MYR 1, but it does make it different

The Morning Crew (in case you don't know who are they) - from Hitz.fm are trying to collect MYR 10,000 for two charity house

Happily Ever After...

2004-11-29T14:33:00.000+08:00

29112004

Just like the topic goes..Wishing my cousin; Jeff & Cheryl who just got married last week a very happy beginning.Both of them looks totally great at the wedding.

As for me..haha.been kinda quite as i have not been updating my blog that frequent.Darn~ guess i need to get my streamyx back up at home.Kinda busy with life...especially all the wedding invitations that i get.One more to go for next month and lets hope i will not receive any more on the way...but getting to see all the lovely event is something nice =).

All the best to all my fellow Apiitians who is having their MidPoint....

Edmond - The Lucky Guy Indeed......

2004-11-23T13:30:00.000+08:00

23112004

Yesterday was very lucky indeed to be invited to a dinner..Specially home cooked by Edmond's girl - Jess.It brings back the feeling of having home cooked dinner with good friends.Three dishes with one soup..a complete home meal ..Lovely,simply lovely....Edmond is indeed a very lucky guy to have Jess as his girl..a girl who is willing to cook for him..Keep it up..and do remember to invite me more often.. =) You are such a lucky guy Ed..hmm..wondering will I be getting your invitation card any soon.. *wink*

SomeOne...

2004-11-19T17:47:00.000+08:00

19112004

Someone told someone, Someone knows, now that Someone misses SomeOne very much...

someone misses SomeOne too...

Back to Work....

2004-11-16T21:29:00.000+08:00

16112004

Is nice to be back home..but it sucks to return for work tomorrow..a few days of public holidays was nice..manage to have some quality time with my family and friends for a few days at Genting Highland. Man, only i realise how long i have not been up there when i saw the changes..haha..guess the last time i went there was with my bunch of college mates for the Sinbad Show and that was like *ahem* close to two years??...how much i miss having those nice time with them...
The entire trip was great..getting two rooms at Highland Hotel was really great too and it really cost a bomb. Three nights for two premier rooms and it cost approx. MYR 3000 for the rack rate as is was a public holiday... the service was alright..no complain about it.Would love to stay there again for the next trip..
I finally set my foot in Casino de Genting..lolz! A place with lots of Aunties and Uncles...but it was a great experience to check this place out and MYR 20..yes is 20.That is the amount I spend inside the Casino =)
The H2O show was okie only.Lots of pretty ladies,all with great figure.But am little confused, why the show was name H2O.The only thing associate with water was the background and a little musical along.I still prefered Sinbad though..hehe.. they have great looking hunks and beautiful ladies with solid butt...lolz!! and most of all is like watching a short movie.Am looking forward for The Peter Pan Show.The show will start somewhere by end of this month or begining of next month.Anyone who loves to go with me? *wink*
Another nice thing that happen during the trip.My Bro left the digital video cam and walk out of the restaurant when we was having lunch on the second day.A big thank you goes to this guy who came out and look for us and return the entire bag to us.How surprise i was when he could actually choose to walk away with it.Haha..there are still good guys out there somewhere =)
Another nice stuff do to in Genting is to have a cup of your favourite Starbucks drink.Did enjoy the moment i spend with my two girls in Starbucks; Early Grey, a nice slice of Blueberry Cheese cake , my ciggies and nice fresh air. =) it was superb...
But I have to feel sorry for one girl.We was queuing up for The Space Shot and since it was a public holiday and the queue was crazyly long everyone waited for quite sometime.This couple just happily slip to our front line and cut the queue.So my bro politely told him off in english and he acted dumb that he told his girl in mandarin that he don't understand a single word my bro said.So this time my bro told him off in mandarin that even a 3 years old kid will understand what is queuing up means.And my, he could proudly said that he don't have any proper manner and so? (with his stupid dumb **** look) looking at my brother.How could I not feel sorry for this young lady whom her guy happily admit in public that he has no proper manner at all.His parents should even felt worst...I felt sorry for them to have such a son..Shame on him~`

Long blog entree i have today.. guess is better to stop here *wink* hope i will be able to post up some photos soon.Oh ya, before i end; Apologise goes to all my girls in Kjg.It was my mistake to remember the date wrongly.MJ had return to M'sia on the 11 instead of 15.Sorry girls~! Guess it will take sometime before i could meet MJ again and I miss you girl!~

Appreciate...

2004-11-12T15:31:00.000+08:00

12112004

Went out for a drink with KB previous nite to be a listening ear to him as earlier on he had a row with his girl.Interesting topic aint it - "just cause you are to good and care to much, you're tend to be taken granted for". Will not go into details what the conversation is about.One thing for sure is that, in general he/she tend to take things for granted once they knew that he/she will be there no matter what happen. As for KB, I hope his girl is not doing that to him. No doubt that action speak louder than words, but once in a while words of comforting needed to be said to assured the other party that he/she does not take any of it for granted. To love someone in a state of mind where you keep telling yourself that you should not love with all you can just because he/she do not appreciate it as much as you do so that even if you fall, it wont hurt that much.Wouldn't love lost it whole purpose? Wouldn't loving someone that way hurts? To loved with all your heart and soul is the best way to loved and not expecting any in return.But yet is something that is so difficult to do, cause we are human being with a brain to be rasional...

Past,Present, ......

2004-11-09T16:00:00.000+08:00

09112004

Past: A happy girl..going to high school/college everyday..everything is supported by parents..occasionally getting extra pocket money from part time jobs.The only thing to worried is exams,exams more exams,projects,projects and more projects and assignments,assignments and more assignments.Life is indeed a blessing to go through all this.Get to do all the stuff I wanted do.Occasionally having a few drinks with a bunch of crazy mates.Movies,late night outing,shopping,gathering; memories that will be kept for the rest of this journey of mine....

Present: Even more things to do..more responsibility to bear...what if you spend more than you can earn? What if your parents are giving you pressure? occasionally caught in a dilemma between the real me and the me that my parents want me to be.Listen to your heart is what most of them will say.Asked yourself what you wanted to do.Then you will find the answer.But is that what the real answer? Will you be able to do what your heart wanted you to do? Leaving all the consequences and doubt behind? Taking the chances? Taking those risks?

Being a grown up is not that easy, but is a journey that everyone have to embrace themself with.With my age,should not be worried about these shit. But darn! old habits are just hard to kick.Old habits?? yeah..grab my choc bar and continue building my castle in the air..

Numb - Encore

2004-11-05T10:59:00.000+08:00

05112004

Yesterday was the world premier for; Numb - Encore by Linkin Park ft. Jay Z and that song rocks!~ The down part; i could not download that song!! But it does not matter, cause am planing to go to Tower Records to check out whether they had the CD available.And I get to know that they had the remix for Papercut & In The End too. I desperately want all of this songs!! Some music bug must have got into my nerves lately. I have been listening lots and lots of MatchBox Twenty, Goo Goo Dolls, The Calling...to be able to fill my house with all these songs especially LP with my Altec Lansing is priceless...

LinkinPark

To a Better Place...

2004-11-03T11:53:00.000+08:00

03112004

At 00:30:30 this morning, received a call from my brother who is in University Hospital informing me that Nee's grandma had passed away.Thank you for having mercy on her and bringing her to a better place.At least she would not have to go through all the agony that she had gone through for the past three weeks.
"Ah Ma, hopefuly now you may rest in peace". For the past 73 years, hope you did enjoyed your life.We will miss you greatly here...

Growing up means coping with situation where loved ones come and go.For the past three years, I had heard news of loved ones leaving my life.Is hard to cope, no doubt about that yet life still move on.I hope Nee will cope with it, just fine.Seeing Nee loosing her grandma reminds me of my own granny.Am not sure if I will be able to cope with her leaving my side.Am very very close to her and I love her a lot.I will pray for her that everyday she will lead a healthy life and live as long as she is able to...

Back to Normal....

2004-11-02T16:50:00.000+08:00

02112004

Everything is back to normal.At least for this moment.Hope this peaceful life style will hang on for a long time.After a hectic weekend,looking forward for a more layback month.Welcome NOVEMBER! which is fast, still considering my mind keep flashing everything that happened beginning of this year.Xmas is coming,yikes can i have my wish list??..hehe..and then will be follow by my new year resolution..hmmpp..will think about.
oh ya..called Eric yesterday..hehe..is nice to listen to his voice again =) ..but sad to know that he can't recognise my voice..he only figured out who is over the phone when he heard Ted's voice..so~ so~ siad~!! hope you will keep your promise ya..so i will be seeing you on january..hehe..remember to get a wombat for me ya mate!~
Whole body is aching and tiring..so better get back to work and finish all the stuff so i can go home early..

switchfoot : acoustic - dare you to move is so so nice~

When Am Gone...

2004-10-28T14:39:00.002+08:00

28102004

Yikes....am back..seems like i have been missing for quite sometimes and not updating my blog..sigh..one thing for sure is that i have been pretty busy in office and my streamyx at home has been suspended ..darn~~ now i can only access the net when am in the office.

oh my~ ah sai..it has been a month since you left the office..times really fly i guess.You should be pretty happy in college by now =) as *someone* is treating you kinda good hehe..enjoy as much as you can and 'gambade' for you FYP..have i mention FYP?? haha..good luck ya..and of coz to all the others who are having their mid point soon..all the best to you guys~!

Lets update a little *wink*.. trip down to Taiping..not sure how should i describe it..but one thing for sure is that i would have to apologise to Feng Feng, sorry for what happen.If only it could turn out to be better.But i do appreciate the night that you brought us around.Taiping sure is a nice place.Lets hope i will get to visit you again soon.Aidilfitri perhaps??

Wedding dinner.. did not have much Leng Zhai to wash my eyes.Haha..but that night Feng Feng sure looks good...*drooling*,with the formal wear (but someone else *wink* looks better..Lol~!).Oh, and food in Taiping is cheap.Eating around Taiping should be good.Too bad all the shop close kinda early, by 12 midnite you will see all the shops starting to closed.Sure hope that i will get to visit you soon...

Something which is not so good been happening around, which brings back lots and lots of old memories which i don't wanna recall and tears that i don't wanna shed anymore.

Hope this entree would not be like the previous entree where it take some time before i will update my blog again.Still have wedding stuff to attend and one thing forsure is to take good care of myself.One thing before i end;
" if YOU love her, please take away all the pain she is suffering now.No matter what it turn out to be.Letting go or staying in, no matter what it will be.It hurts a lot to see what she is going through."

Buzz....

2004-10-20T13:06:00.000+08:00

20102004

Been few days did not update my blog.Have been pretty busy and tired these days.Tonnes of workload to be rush, datelines to be meet and stuff to do.Will be helping out cousin in his wedding.So will be pretty busy this coming weeks.Lets hope i will still have the time to update my blog...

Feng Feng, hope i will get to see you this weekend kay..see ya in Taiping!

Just 3 Words...

2004-10-15T00:00:00.000+08:00

15102004

Life has not been easy these two days with me having flu and for god-knows-why as I thought that I had make you upset.

"I thought you was angry with me for something that I have done which I don't even know what is it.In the other way, you thought I was angry with you for some reason that you don't even know. It turns out to be that, all was just a misunderstanding. Am sorry for all the misunderstanding that I have caused.Whenever I hear your voice or see your face, I just could not bring myself to be angry with you.To know that I would not be able to see you for this entire week makes the whole thing even worst.

Sweetheart,I know somehow you will read this.Just wanted you to know that "No, am not angry with you".Will be counting the time when i will be seeing you again, and of cause I remember ; Happy Annivasary to you, I Love You"

To the biggest-lamp-post-in-the-world; you know who you are *grin* Thanks a lot for brighten up my day with the conversation we had yesterday morning.I owe you for this *wink*...

Typical Me..

2004-10-14T13:20:00.000+08:00

14102004

Reached office kinda early this morning and sit in my car for about 15 minutes pondering about my life before I move to my office.Was having this conversation in msn with one of my closest and i get to learn something new about myself.Surprisingly; the typical me..

Mr Nice : ic ic... just like ur attitude...
that's wat i call typical jenny
Me : haha..my attitude??
haha..can explain more details what does typical jenny means.. Lol!!
interesting!
Mr Nice : hehehe... sure...!!!
u always think, "he should know..." and "you should do..." but sometimes u never tell ppl, ppl won't know what you r thinking 1
just like old times when we planed to go out somewhere then at the last minute, no body calls any1 then when i call you, you said "he didn't call you meh?"
Me : hhmmm....
typical me!! haha..guess is time to change hor!
heheheheh
Mr Nice : it's ok lar... not very bad also
Me : hehe..human have to strive to change to be better..but something is meant to be that way cause that is what makes u different from the others ain't it

Yup, that is part of the conversation he told me.Thanks a million for the conversation.I appreciate that lot! like I always said..would prefer Honesty compare to Nice.Though i wanted to clarified something in it, but yet i guess is best i leave it this way and let you figure out more about me in the future *wink*..

**sigh; i hate shopping alone..guess i will have to do my shopping alone again tonight at klcc after office..anyone bother to join me?**

Home Sweet Home...

2004-10-12T13:18:00.000+08:00

12102004

Yup..is another day and it does not feel good at all.Am down with flu again, yikes...guess have to thanks BFA for the virueses..and today sweetheart is going back to where he come from.Have a safe journey home and enjoy your holiday as much as you can though am gonna miss you much here.Take good care and see you soon...
At the mean time, the pictures are out..here are some of it....enjoy!

Beach Club : 09/10/2004

Dan & Isobel

Dennis,Jae,Elljay

Heinz,Ted,Cheng Kiat

Derrick,Flipside,Ted,Elljay

Station One : 06/10/2004

Dennis,Jae,ElljayDennis & Jae
Dan & JaeJae & Elljay Ed,Derrick,Elljay Just Guys

Sweet Talk : 07/10/2004

Dennis

Tau Foo Fah

Tau Foo Fah

Me enjoying my Tau Foo Fah

Unforgettable...

2004-10-11T14:07:00.000+08:00

11102004

WoW! what a nice week i had.Today is another brand new week =) but last week was awesome.The entire week's dinner was with Ted and Dennis.All the dinner was superb - monday till sunday; from EZ Cafe to Station One to Sweet Talk to Sushi King to Food & Tea to Yoshinoya.My~ my~..some of the food was nice while some are just so so but most of all is not the food that matters is the companion the matters the most *wink*.Same goes to the night in Beach Club,though I found the enviroment in BC just moderate yet I still had a fun time

with my fella mates,It was just awesome to be clubbing again with Ted,Flipside,Louise,Jae,Wendy, Derrick,Dennis,Dan and their bunch of mates.Oh did I mention that Isobel was there too?Yeah,great time I had with them.It has been quite sometime since my last clubbing with them.Is even great to see Dan collapse to the couch and later having cramp..hahaha!!The entire night was great not to mention that the fun when all the way from BC to the mamak behind..Lol!! some of you will understand what i meant and till the next morning..haha..Dennis and Ted should know.Some of the pictures should look great too.Will post it up soon, once i get a copy of it!But a great night always come with the consequence the next morning? yeah, was suppose to go shopping, but guess i was just to tired as i slept 5 in the morning and woke up around 8++ and stay in bed till 9++ was not enough to get rid of all the aching. Saw a few stuff i wanted to get, but was not in the mood of it.It was really a night to REMEMBER.Good things do not last long i guess.Sad to say,Finally Dennis is back to Taiping again after all the great fun.Hope you did enjoyed your one week stay here..Shall meet up with you soon in Taiping...

Can't Wait...

2004-10-08T13:02:00.000+08:00

08102004

Soon... soon...it will be over. =) yup..that is! Ted and all his fellow APIITian mates will be having the last paper tomorrow. everyone can relax for a day or two before resuming to the hectic schedule again..at the mean time am stuck in this small place of mine with tonnes of work load..sigh~!..when will it be better?..i wonder..

Oh!yesterday night was nice.meet up with Ted and Dennis for dinner.Long dinner that is.First we went to the "Atap" <-- was actually Lembah Maju Food Center. Love to have dinner there. Nice feel, though the view is not perfect.The food there hm..is just so so. Then we went to Sweet Talk for dessert.They have this cute small wooden bucket "tau foo fah" for 2 persons.The fun part is they will do it in front of you.Mix A & B , wait for 5 minutes and is ready to be eaten! but thanks to Ted ours was not that successful, but still comsumable *wink*..not bad not bad.should try if you happen to be there. By this time, am pretty filled up with all the foods and drinks.Thought of heading home as it was kinda late, but then all of us ended up in Steven's Corner for third round. Crazy?? Guess so.So there it goes, a night well spend with two great companion....

Final paper..all the best to my sweetheart and all my mates in APIIT especially Jae,Audrey,Dan, Wendy, Jeremy!!

Nice to be Back..

2004-10-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

05102004

Is nice to be back.Back as in physically and mentally.been getting a little better nowadays.lesser headache as it only occurs once in a while.lets say two days once.been completing most of my task in the office.hopefully soon everything will be in order.

Meet up with an old coursemate of mine yesterday.great dinner we had with him.Dennis; is nice to meet you again finally.Though you lost a little weight, but to me..you seems to be more well build. *wink* hope we will get to meet up again before you leave for Taiping.

All the best wishes goes to my fellow mates of APIITians who is sitting their paper tomorrow and saturday.Most of all enjoy yourself to the max this saturday....

At the mean time, these are the few pics taken during Derrick's Birthday

Elljay,Wendy,Pammy,Jae,Dan

Jae,Wendy,Dan,Pammy,Elljay

Jezz,Edmond,Elljay,Derrick,Pammy

Ted,Elljay,Derrick

All pics taken at Gaia Bistro

Malaise..

2004-09-30T14:28:00.000+08:00

30092004

Am in a very uncomfortable,un-conscious and malaise state.Physically and mentally.Which I do not know what is wrong with me and my health.It has been going on and off with my sickness.With the flu,fever,sore throat, cough i had for two months or more which i could not remember, would not seems to bugged off from my body.Recently been having constant headache from day to night ; night to day, having chest pain and difficult in breathing with some slight sharp pain in my ear and now am having some smoky black vision now and then flashing through my eyes.Once in a while get up from bed in a malaise state.Gosh! what is wrong with me.Only realise that some of the symptoms am having are pretty close to one thing.Thanks to my buddy Kevin, as some of the symptoms i had are pretty closed to those with bronchitis.Am i having bronchitis? I hope not.But one thing am sure is that am desperately in need of help and rest.

This morning with the state am, i had to be in office an hour early.Seems is not my day today, while i was on the way to work, meet with an accident with two motorcyclists which is not my fault.Though not much damage was done, but my car still suffer so minor "bruises" and thank god that the man only suffer minor scratches.Get to my office,only to found out that they (my bosses and seniors) was late and i waited 30 minutes for them outside the office.Later on of the day, i was told to move from my current place to a new cubicle which had two blower of air condition directly on top of me. While busy buzzing myself with work and waiting for my lunch time; 1330, my senior told me to had my lunch an hour earlier which was his lunch time; 1230.Move my head, look at the clock and guess what? is already way past 1230.this is the second day in a row i was told to had my lunch hour in a last minute notice.Which resulting me, not having my lunch at all.

At this current moment, all i wanted to do is to drag myself back home..drive safely back and lay myself on my bed.cause am really really in a state which i can't describe myself and it feels like it will probably cause my tears to roll down my check.

Happy 21st Hatching Day....

2004-09-29T11:41:00.000+08:00

29092004

Happy 21st Hatching Day to my Ah Sai also the brother to Ted which is also known as TZR @ LZR to some of my fella mates or also known as hayashi or better still as Derrick!!*phew*

I know you wanna hear this..so wishing you.."Pou Pou Kou Sing" *hahaah* , "Nean Nean Dou Kam Leng Zhai", "Ngan Pao Yat Nean Fei Kor Yat Nean" and of coz " Sun Dai Keen Hong"..take good care of your health and at the mean time maintain your chubby-ness...haha..hope you have a great time today..see ya later for dinner!!

Best Wishes...

2004-09-28T22:52:00.001+08:00

28092004

Dear,

I tought this letter writting thing going to be easy but I guess it's not always that way.I have so many feeling to express that I have no idea where to begin.I never expected to feel this way towards you and to be honest I tried not to fall in love with you.But it got me,it sure got me good! I read a quote somewhere once that said "It's not missing you that kills me,is knowing that I had you in my life does".That is so absolutely true.But what's really bothering me is that I can't tell you how i feel.

As time goes on and we're apart,I think of how things could have been.What we could have said or done to work things through.Our argument was caused from so many things."My insecurities because of jealousy, my lack of self-worth, the selfish side of me that want to be the only one to make you smile!"

I have been thinking of myself a lot lately over what went wrong and what makes me feel terribly awful.I have accept that lies and falsehood won't lead me anywhere, but I guess I was just really head over heals falling for you! I might have done or said many silly things.I really went through a lot to prove a point, because lately I have noticed that you seem to turn cold whenever we chat.I am not sure, but I hope that my feeling is wrong.I should have been giving some reasons for what i felt.Perhaps you've been busy these few days or have a lot of pressure? I'm just not really use to it.

All the arguments and everything seems as if it's happening because time run by us and we don't have much time with each other, and I know that these misunderstanding don't mean anything more than just arguing at that very moment.With all this,you seem to think I don't love you anymore and i know i haven't been showing it to you either.

I know that I'm not perfect but i know that i don't want to give you up! I have arguing with you, I hate hearing that pain-filled tone of your voice, or feeling your cold shoulder when i brush past just to get a hint of your scent.I'm not naturally an angry person; you know that from the time you first meet me.

Now here we are, together again, but it doesn't feel that same.I know you still care for me, and even love me, but i wonder if you are ever going to forgive me for the past.How do we get past the hurt? I look back on all that I took for granted, and I only wish that I had appreciated it. I will always have my shooting stars to remind me.Do you know what my wish was? I wished that i would never be stupid enough to let you go!

I sit in my car after our conversation today, upset that I didn't express to you how i felt.i want you to know that i never meant to hurt you, even though it may seem that way sometimes.I thought of you many times during night, really wishing you were by my side...

How you felt after reading the letter? My brother showed me the letter when I came home from work today.Weird though, he don't seems to like writing letter all this while.Wonder where the letter came from..Do you think this guy worth a second chance? hmm..I wonder..

Anyway, today will be the last day i had my breakfast with Derrick at work, my last lunch with him at work, the last car pool ride to work.All of this; is his last day at work today! Bad news, I will miss his presence in work, no one to laugh crazyly with me at work, to crap all day long with me,to teach me for my photoshop,ilustrator and dreamweaver work when i needed one, to share my plate of "Siew Mai", enjoying the nice music in office..Good news, he will be doing what he wanted to do most - going back to college to continue his degree, lead the life he wanted too.Am happy for you Ah Sai. All the best to you in whatever you do in future~~..

Seems like i will have to be extra careful in going back now.Will be walking alone to get my car...careful..careful..

By the way, Happy Mid Autumn Festival to everyone.Hope you did enjoy the moon with your piece of mooncake and a cup of tea together with the people you love..

Monday Monday Monday..

2004-09-27T11:18:00.000+08:00

27092004

Scary. Is already end of september and soon october will be here.another 2 months and bye bye to 2004?? hmm...hmm...Okie okie..is a brand new weekend and *ahem* *ahem* and end of sept..means paycheck *GRIN*...which is soon...

not a bad weekend I had.Went to 2 new places to have dinner on two different days.hm..not really two though..return to EZ Cafe and Restaurant which in Pandan Indah with Ed and Jezz *ahem* of coz Ted is there =) to tried out the other food they have.Oh..nice salad they served.the mayo they used is kinda different.This time the Chef came over to our table and asked for our opinion..haha..to be honest the smoked chicken grilled i had was not bad..the texture of the chicken was nice..but the BBQ sauce i ordered tasted a little salty and Ted said it has some herbalist taste on it.Guess what the chef reply was "oh..is that way..cause i cooked it in a tradition and classic way..not those you found in ready pack sauce" okie okie..you win.the calamari ring is nice..but i still like the salad..*yum* *yum*Oh! by the way, we got a complimentary salad from the chef by the end of the day *wink*

alright,that was saturday and sunday i was in another new place to tried out different stuff.MaMa Chop PaPa Grill which is in Kajang.but the original shop was in subang.Basically you can find other branches at Bangi,Pandan Indah too.ya ya i know the name of the restaurant is funny..but guessed what, the food they served not bad.I personally like the sausage cheese wrap in bread.It taste good and the beef soup, lets say is okie.haha..seems like i have been eating too much for this weekend.but i still like the enviroment in Gaia Bistro.Nice and cozzy and they have nice earl grey and Irish cream baileys..what else could be better.Nice food and favourite drinks and lets say with good companions (*ahem* when u guys gonna be free for a dinner with me??) that will be so so so nice...

Lovely...

2004-09-25T09:01:00.000+08:00

25092004

Not a bad nite i had yesterday with the headache i had for two day till now. Manage to be on time to meet up with my bunch of girlfrens and had a lovely dinner with them.New place i went to - Gaia Bistro which is at Alam Jaya, Cheras..hmm..but is kinda difficult to find it.Nice inter decor..the food..oh well ..must said the lamp chop they served consider not bad and so is the grilled duck steak.both tasted good.something weird though, they served bacardi coke with straw...hmm...hmmm.....
glad that I managed to catch up with GS,SL and LW.to bad that MJ and CY wasn't there.Or else it will be a complete gatherting for us. Lets hope this year's gathering will be still on.Lovely night~~

Another lovely thing.. =) it has been more than 7 days Ted keep himself away from ciggie..!! woohuu..keep it going sweetheart!! You are a guy with great determination.. *wink* ..

Can't stop smiling..

2004-09-22T23:38:00.000+08:00

22092004

Can't stop smiling when am driving all the way home. Why? cause today is the first time that the scent of the fragrance lingers in the car after Ted got down.it feel so so nice~ It lasted for the whole day, unliked previously where it can only be scented at the beginning of the day, by the end of the day is ciggie smell.haha..sweetheart. am so so proud of you...~

Went to a new restaurant for dinner today at Pandan Indah.Hhm..decor was not bad..food? hm..so so only..Price? - affordable i will say..the service? ha! when asked for bill, it took them more than 20 minutes..Wonder what went wrong.Where can you get dinner for two at RM30 and you get to refill your sky juice with lemon and they bow and open the door for you when you leave.haha..But overall - consider okie lets say 4 out of 10.hmm..probably will return there to try out the other food...

Wet Duck..

2004-09-21T14:50:00.000+08:00

21092004

Am like a wet duck now.sitting in front of my comp in my office with the air cond full blast.Heavy rain outside, i went to the bank and get myself all wet.why i went to the bank when i was supposely to have my happy lunch time with Derrick cause BFA asked me to deposite a client's cheque.Is freaking cold now in the office with my wet shirt.oh..did i mention earlier..i was wearing a white shirt.wet hair,wet shirt,wet heals and wet pant.great!!and the BFA asked me in to the room for a small discussion which means more work to be complete! wasn't it a great day.and my lunch is at 1445 instead of the normal 1330. what a day!!wouldn't be surprise if i found myself lying on my bed with a sick body again.

Fast Day..

2004-09-20T23:09:00.000+08:00

20092004

So so fast.Today it seems the time passed real fast..never even realise it was already 1730 when i look at my watch and another 30 minutes more..can kiss goodbye to my comp in the office.But today was kinda satisfying day..hehe..did not get to online for the whole day at the office cause up-grading service of SDSL line (*wink* can stream better now..haha..!!) manage to complete my sub-module of reports in php.feel so nice.will consider of not surfing anymore during office hour in order to be more productive...??(looks whos typing here..haha) anyway, is a nice day as everything turn out to be good.Glad to know Ted is getting way much better now.

almond tea is bad for cough.Now i know.been coughing none stop since came home from dinner.Most probably is cause of the almond tea i ordered..oh my..pls..can afford to felt sick another round..

Have Faith...

2004-09-18T01:24:00.000+08:00

18092004

Will keep it simple and short.This is specially for Ted, what you are currently doing really hit hard on me.Am proud of you: to have the courage to keep the determination to quit smoking.The other side feeling of despair seeing you in this state.But sweetheart,keep it going! cause i have faith in you.will always be here to support you...

Man Are Egoistic......

2004-09-16T21:33:00.000+08:00

16092004

Yes, is true.Man are egocentric.Thanks to a colleague of mine *wink*..i can prove myself right again.You see, he drives an auto car all the time as his own car is one too, but how fortunate I was today to be driven home by him in my car( haha yes..my car) which is a manual car.All the way, he was like this kid who got a new toy.he will go "oh oh..no no..why not smooth?jumpy oh..!!" or "arr..Bus!!bus!!...how how??" or "hey uncle!! move fast fast!!..i just shift to 3rd gear, wanna speed" ,"eh! eh! mati engine..how??" with his innocent yet boyish look. haha..how can i resist teaching a guy who claim he's not a boy, not yet a man! to drive a manual car. But yet he will said.."no, no..i release the accelarator pedal faster" or " i thought you were suppose to step on the brake then only to the clutch" or " cause i thought you have to release the accelator pedal then only shift gear, right?"..haha..yeah yeah..just admit you are not used in driving a manual car!But is was really an exciting ride home. it was like riding a roller coster ride..with all the laughing and silly remarks he made.He even got so excited when there are cars who wanted just to overtake in..hehe..thanks for an unforgetable ride.And My Gawd!! i can't believe he can have an orgasm by listening to"Heaven - Los Lonely Boy" and driving manual car...Lol!! That is what he told me.But be proud boy! you drove all the way from office back home..hehe..such an honour to be in the car with you.I should admit, for a person who does not drive any manual car after getting your driver licence..you did a great job! *wink* maybe we should try again sometime with the others in it too.They will be dying to be in it.

Happiness don't last long i guess.All the excitement went off when i came home and got myself feeling down with some stupid stuff.Feel so unwanted..so lost..and it makes my head ache even worst.I can feel as if my skulls is cracking.it hurts so badly.But thanks a million to you-know-who-you-are for being supportive.what will i do without you.hahaha..thanks *hug* *hug*

Gracias...

2004-09-15T13:38:00.000+08:00

15092004

Gracias to my sweetheart,for getting me a box of lovely belgian chocolates all the way this morning.. *grin* ..thanks for everything.happy aniversary to you too....time sure flies.it had been six month we have been together and six months since we last came back from Redang..how much i miss redang..and good of ED to be in Tioman today..haha..enjoy the trip!!

apple and chocolate for lunch is healthy and it taste lovely..hahaha..this what i had for lunch today...

oh..TZR is leaving by the end of this month..handed in his resignation letter the very first thing in the morning..this give my boss a shock in the face..hahaha...i love that look!!btw,no more companion for lunch..no more crazy morning nescafe tarik and roti kosong with sambal with this ah sai of mine..so siad...*sob* *sob*..will appreciate the remaining days with him before he leave in the end month.. *wink*

I Love You...

2004-09-14T10:11:00.000+08:00

14092004

Read my Sis's blog this morning.Sorry to hear the sad news.My condolences goes to you family and relatives.Everything just play through my mind.

"Cherish The People Around You"..How true it could be.It might seems suddenly to some of my frens and buddies why am changing to another person. Where I always told them how much I appreciate and love them, how much i miss them.I have learn my lesson well.Seeing the people i care and love most and dear to me leaving my side without having the chance to said goodbye.The last goodbye,the last hug and the last word of saying how much I love them.The heart ache and sadness is un-describe-able.Just praying everyday it would not happen again to the people i love.How much all this people meant to me, no words can be use to describe.This is me, i will love all of you with all my heart and soul.would not wanna live a day when i will regret the next minute knowing i did not get the chance to say or do the things i wanted to do with you.Coz i only have one life to know you and would not wanna regret living it...

TOP 10 Reasons Why Smoking is Bad

2004-09-13T13:12:00.000+08:00

Cozy...(my cubicle)

13092004

Okie okie ..so TZR and I was pretty free this morning and we came out with this list..who to blame..office is to cozy for work..haha..here it goes..

10. Amaran Kementerian Kesihatan : Merokok Membahayakan Kesihatan
9. Smoking Kills 12 Times More People Than Road Accidents
8. Tobacco Tax Increase Every Year

7. Is Equivalent of Burning Money
6. Breath of Tobacco is so Un-kewl
5.Natural Tobacco 'frangrance' s****
4.It makes a man impotent..in a matter of time
3.Passive Smoker Have Higher Risk - You are killing anyone who is around you
2. Smoke From Ciggies Pollute the Air The Most

1. It has no good in ANY way

hahaha..so hope you fellas out there enjoy the list as both of us do.. LoL!!
sorry sweetheart..can't help it.. you know what I meant..I have no issue on you *wink*

Back to Normal...

2004-09-12T21:14:00.000+08:00

12092004

Finally am back to normal.Getting much much better compare to the last few days.Been recuperating for two days at home. But nothing beats the bird nest my Ah Ma boiled for me.It was the best thing that makes me recover...hahaha..thank you very much to her..appreciate that a lot..her time and effort.
I got a shock this evening when I came back.My bro got himself a new hair cut that totally thrown me off.He shave his hair bald!!!Though is not the first time he did that, but this time is the shortest ( haha...can't define short here) which is ..oh..am out of words..can't describe.Pity him.Is not that he want too, but he does not have a choice here.I do understand.No worries bro, you hair will grow back in no time and everything will recover, back to normal.Is only a matter of time......

Worst...

2004-09-10T21:27:00.000+08:00

10092004

The most lousy day of my year. This year had not being any better ain't it.The cough, the sore throat did not get any better.Down with fewer again this morning, yet still am forcing myself to work (heck..it sounds am so respondsible) but what is worst, that by the time of 1530 am at home again lying on my bed.The only thing i had force down my tummy is the glass of nescafe ice and roti kosong i had for breakfast.Am feeling so so numb.Aint have any enthusiasm for food.Been sleeping for the entire afternoon and it does not make me feel any better when I woke up at 2000.The worst feeling I ever had.The only thing I crave the most is a HUG, yet I can't get any. The only comfort I get was a postcard from MJ.Thanks a million for brighten up my gloomy day.It suddenly makes me misses you so so much.Hope I will be able to be down soon to meet you up again.

The weekend is here.Partying, clubbing, drinking session is not what am looking forward too.Looking forward in seeing Ted again this sunday.Am just hoping that I will get well soon.Pray for me please??

TZR: sorry for making you to take public transport back home today..

I want my voice back..

2004-09-08T17:48:00.000+08:00

08092004

Woke up this morning realising that I have lost my voice cause of my stupid cough and sore throat..Sorry sweetheart for sounding awkward this morning when I called you. Is cause I barely have my voice...Am down with fewer this morning, and yet have to go to work..sigh..how I wish I couuld have another day of MC so that I could get some rest at home..feeling pretty restless at this moment in the office..tonnes of work to do, just don't feel like finising it up. The temptation of reading is far more greater .*wink* that's why am done reading Dan Brown's - The Da Vince Code. Can't wait to get back home to start the other book.

oh..today is Jae and Dan final day for assignments submission.I will surely get my voice back as am looking forward to go karaoke session with them.see both of you soon!!

Got the news from my sweetheart that he will not be able to go back to JB to attend his grandma's birthday dinner.Know you must have been very dissapointed with that.There is no such things as perfect.Your family will surely understand your situation.You can surely give your grandma a better treat once you have the chance to go home again.Look at the bright side at least one presentation will be over by this friday.So..cheer up alright..Love you..

Pooped..

2004-09-07T22:10:00.000+08:00

07092004

Physically and mentally worn out

Shallow Swine.........

2004-09-06T23:39:00.000+08:00

06092004

Is gonna be a long blog entry for today

Anyone of you who read THE STAR this morning..front page will know what am going to blog.The State Goverment had approved a marina project which will destroy one of the world-renowned marine dive sites in Pulau Tioman.It hurts so bad to read that news.My heart ache so shoddily..How could the state goverment approved the marina project?? Though am not a professional diver. But the beauty of the under water is so divine that is capture the whole of me the very moment I saw it.Development for the country is important, but to destroy the beauty that GOD has created is cruel. How long would it takes to get this beauty on the Earth again. These endangered giant clam and 300-year-old coral does not come easy.To see a bed of death coral in the bottom of the sea is really scary.The feeling is like standing at a grave yard looking at all the tombs..Really wish that WWF (read: World WildLife Foundation) and other international organisation will do something about it.Help to safe something which even money can't buy...

Another story that disturbed me is about one of my good girlfriends who is living in JB at this moment for her Uni education.She is currently staying at a rented house with a bunch of ugly 'byeatch' who treat her so donkey worse that i feel like slapping each of them.The attitude of 'sekadar ada buat sudah' really sucks.They will left all the work to her if she realise some of it is wrong.What is wrong with them?? If is wrong, ain't it is appropriate to correct it again.Back stabbing other ppl is the expertise..what kinda frens is this?? asking my girlfren not to tell anyone how they are treating her as is a 'clique' thingy?? Excuse me?? A 'clique' thingy?? they dun even treat as part of them. and yet shame of them who dare to spoke those words out from their mouth. Not including my girlfren in their every single activities and even simple thing as going out for lunch/dinner they are isolating her. What even pissed me off the most is that nowadays even making copy of any materials from the lecturing will not be including my girlfren.Ironic don't you think. They knew how they treating her is wrong, and yet they still doing it.*shake head*..
Am really worry about her. You have asked me why you have to go through this all by yourself in the foreign land. My dear, if you are reading this..be strong, everything happens for a reason.what you are going through now will make you a better person in the future. Do not compare yourself to those 'shallow' people. Though I might not be able to bere there for you when u needed a shoulder to cry on or a *HUG* to ease all the pain or someone to talk too or just a plain companion.Just wanted you to know, we are always here to give you a listening ears no matter what. We are always anticipating for you to be back here.I really hope that you will at least do some thing that make yourself happy.Will want you to have a happy life over there. Treat yourself better my girl..love yourself more..waiting to see you soon..take good care alright...

Apologise...

2004-09-05T18:26:00.000+08:00

05092004

My apology goes to my sis, pammy.Really sorry for not being able to turn up for your drama play although you have sincerely invite me to be there.Hope you will accept my apologise.It must have been a great drama play..darn..how could i miss it out. *sorry*

Guess there is much apologise to make. Amanda, if you are reading this my apology to you.I know you do hope that i will turn up for that rally. Hope you did have a great time with JN there. I was at the MINES for the whole evening and yet when JN gave me a called I was still there.*sorry*

Darn..the exhibition was okie okie, it was just that the boss of mine was like a three year old kid who is interested in every single things that seem to be there at the exhibition. But I must admit that the exhibition was really a good place to learn and expose yourself to many new stuff in the ICT world.It was like walking the whole day for a great shopping spree (1000 till 1730).

What a weekend is was.Am tired and bushed out. Desperately need to get my butt up and visit my GP. MC pls......

Money - Good or Evil??...

2004-09-03T10:37:00.000+08:00

03092004

Good or evil? that's the question. am in the mist of deciding to continue my working life or going back to my college life. Life won't be easy without money you see. As this few months am having my own income, it makes me feels satisfied as i do not need to ask anymore money from my parents.A stable income really changes someone's life, no doubt bout that. But yet, money is not everything. the so 'good' boss of mine, is still considering my confirmation. Is not that he does not want to confirm my colleague and me, is just that he's probably thinking how much should he offer us once he confirm us.haha..there it goes again.. money,money,money.such a powerful thing in this world.

going back to college is bout money too.Apiit is one good institute that swallow one big chunk of your money.going back to college means no more stable income every month.yeah..and yet still needs to get my allowance from my parents.Darn..is bout money again.why,why..tell me? how could money is everything when i just write is not everything.Contradict?? yeah..guess it is..

another thing is about money. Just send my car to the work shop for a repair yesterday..my,my, the total amount of the bill? RM565..money and money and more money...

Thank you sweetheart for the time and effort to take the car to the workshop.Appreciate that a lot!

Money anyone??

Welcome Sept...

2004-09-01T11:26:00.000+08:00

01092004

Time sure pass by fast. 3 more months to go and we shall bid goodbye to 2004. been pretty busy since my last blog. and my..lots of stuff to be recount on.

Everyday it seems to be inevitable to have the word 'respect' to be part of daily life...willingness to show consideration or appreciation to each other. But in the world today it seems to be lacking of it as each day goes by. every bits of life needs of this so called 'respect' to keep things in order.

Tell me how you would see an individual who don't even know how to give a little respect to the root that he came from. I might sounds exaggerating the whole thing.This is me, show me the respect to the person that needs one and i will respect you for no matter who you are.

A little respect is just this world needs today, and guess that everything will be in a peaceful way...

SHMILY...

2004-08-28T00:07:00.000+08:00

28082004

If only I know what will happen tomorrow,
I will tell you how I feel,
If only I know that you will still be here,
I will tell you how much I care,
If only I know life is too short to be waste,
I will show you how much I love you…….
Now that you are gone forever…
I will be missing you so much…
Hope that you will still by my side…
To give me a hug that I misses all this while…

It has been 3 years and it still hurts...

Agitated...

2004-08-26T13:09:00.000+08:00

25082004

Another normal day to work, the only diff is am driving alone instead of the usual two person.Derrick is going to work by himself this morning.A few songs air in Hitz.fm in the morning seems to caught my attention a lot. Dunno why..I was so agitated by the words of this few songs that it nearly cause me my life..as my mind was drifting away to no where when am driving..First was The Reason followed by Someday then, was Here Without You and the final song was this...

When I first saw you I already knew
There was something inside of you
Something I thought that I would never find
Angel of Mine
I look at you looking at me
Now I know why they say the best things are free
Gonna love you boy you are so fine
Angel of Mine
How you changed my world you'll never know
I'm different now, you helped me grow
You came into my life
Sent from above
When I lost all hope
You showed me love
Nothing means more to me than what we share
No one in this whole world can ever compare
....
....
....

Feeling really thoughtless now.Am going to see him again this sunday after all this while.It makes me misses him so so much....

Bleed Myself to Death...

2004-08-24T12:59:00.000+08:00

24082004

Is 0025 when i had a small cut on my toe. Can't imagine that the bleeding can't seem to stop though the time is close to 0200 when am bout to go to bed. But at least the bleeding is not as bad as it firstly was. 0735, woke up and my toe is still bleeding.What is wrong with me? Dunno.. Am I gonna bleed myself to death?..guess so...

Bad day for me. My gastric is still there since yesterday, and the tiny migraine of mine can't seem to go away and this morning woke up with a swollen left eye.Happy 7th Lunar Month everyone..

Oh ya, today is Jo's birthday! Happy Hatching Day to you..Enjoy yourself and we shall catch up soon..

From Me to You..

2004-08-21T15:10:00.000+08:00

21082004

Approximately 14 years. That is how long i have come to know a closest friend of mine.Drey, if u r reading this, a very "Happy Birthday" to you. May you be blessed in every aspects of your life.Enjoy yourself in this day of yours. ....We shall meet up after your return from camp, and of course how could I miss out your gift *wink*.....

Night Drive...

2004-08-20T12:59:00.000+08:00

19082004

A young lady was rape by two men when she was taking a nap in her car at 0400 in the morning after returning from a pub.This was the news I read in yesterday's Star paper.I was shock with the news.
Am someone who often drives home late night. There are times when I was really sleepy and could not continue driving.The thought of pulling over at the road side to get a nap so that I could get a rest and not dangering others on the road is always on my mind.Think twice, think twice is what i need to do after reading the news.
But which to choose?The possibility of being rape or dangering others' life and your own?

Feels like the color Blue..

2004-08-19T02:22:00.000+08:00

18082004

Another day at work..but today feels like the color blue. The cause?? could it be PMS?? don't think so..probably is cause that my sweetheart is going back to where he came from later in the evening.It will be a few days before i can finally see him again.

Read one of my girl's blog the very first thing i reach office.Couldn't have agreed more with what she says."Love with all you have" - that is the best way to love and not expecting anything in return. The other day the topic of 'what would you willing to give up for the name of love' was air in Hitz.fm .. which is pretty ironic where all the callers have only the men/women relationship in their mind. No doubt I will say that am willing to give up my life for the name of love. Don't get me wrong, my love here is for those that I love with all I have - my family , loved ones and of course friends that means wonder to me. It might sounds stupid to include friends some might said, but to me the friendships given from my closest friends are like precious gem - rare and hard to find...

Is time to prepare for meeting..*sigh*

Poor Guy...

2004-08-17T15:09:00.000+08:00

17082004

On the way to work in the morning when i saw this accident.Pity the pedestrian who is trying to cross the road.How on earth could that driver knock him down in the early day when the sun is so bright, and on the road where the possibility of speeding is totally out of question.Guess there is no place which is safe enough nowadays.Have to be extra careful in the world today......

Eric if you are reading this, i'm really touch by what you told me about the 'wind' thingy,though is funny but at least you still remember me when you are miles away.Time flies really fast..anticipating the day when we will meet again!!! *hugz*

New Journey...

2004-08-17T02:28:00.003+08:00

16082004

Finally been able to catch my breathe again and settle down.Move to a new office where finally get a tiny small corner for myself.Am glad to be in the new place,but is just to comfortable to be working there..after all the hard work, guess is worth it

Yesterday was a very special day.Dedicated to the guy in my life, my dearest, Ted. "Happy Annivesary" and thanks a lot for the lovely poem that you have written just for me.Appreciate that a lot. Am thankful and blessed to have you in my life.

"Thank you for everything that you have given me and being there when i needed you the most"

Another BIG thanks goes to Dan, thanks a lot for giving a tiny space for me in your link..*hugz*

~ Happy Birthday Bro..

2004-08-13T15:27:00.000+08:00

13082004

Happy Hatching Day to my elder brother..turning 24 alright.If u r reading this my bro, a very happy wish to you..enjoy ur life ahead.Am lucky to have you as a brother..Love you..

And of coz to a great fren jeremy..same goes to you..a very happy birthday to you..Keep the music going all the way~~

Blessed

2004-08-12T13:21:00.000+08:00

11082004 22:06

Blessed to be here, at this day,this hour.Attended an interment in the morning which makes me realise that life is too fragile to be taken granted for.Memories of 3 years back seems to be playing like a film without sound in my mind.How much i miss the two important person in my life.Love you..maybe u find peace in his presence...